Relational dialects are the three kinds of needs at play in every interpersonal relationship. The first of which is autonomy-connection, where we feel the need to be independent and have our own space but also to maintain an intimate connection, whether its a romantic partner or a friend. For example, my boyfriend and I are both very independent and intimate. We have found a way to balance these needs by encouraging independent growth and discovery as well as finding ways to grow and discover in our relationship. Every year when school starts again, we spend a lot of time apart in order to work on our goals as a student. In a way we engage in the separation strategy where we favor one end of tthe dialectal continuum because we work and go to school in different areas and our schedules do not match up at all during the week. During school, we favor autonomy. During the summer, we favor intimacy. It feels good to spend time apart, but I look forward to the next time I will wake up to this.
As far as Novelty-Predictability, we sometimes take a little bit too much comfort in routine and then are itching to get out of the house and do something new like trying a new cuisine or taking a class together. In long term relationships I think it's especially important to try new things and be open to trying something your partner is interested in (still waiting for my boyfriend to try yoga). Below is some photos of us trying sushi for the first time.
Another important duelling need is the desire to be both open with someone and also maintain some privacy. In our relationship we self disclose
almost everything. We all have things we are perhaps not particularly proud of or embarrassed/ashamed to share such as fantasies and dreams involving our celebrity crushes lol.
Savannah, this post makes the textbook information so easy to follow because you make it so relatable! I love how you integrated parts of your relationship with your boyfriend into your definitions of the relational dialectics. Your photos really drew me to your post as well: you integrated something very human into this piece, which makes your writing all the more engaging.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lexi. When I first read the textbook information, I still had a few questions in my understanding. Reading your blog helped me to better understand the theory of relational dialects. I like the way your personal life tells a story in explaining the different parts of relational dialect. I also believe that you have to switch up because differnet time periods in your life require different attention. I like the understanding you both have with one another and how you are able to analyze your situation.
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