Autonomy-Connection refers to our need to have close connection with others as well as our need to have our own space and identity. When I think of this dialectic I think of my boyfriend. As the relationship began, we both couldn't stand to be apart all day because we both had very busy schedules and didn't get much time to converse with each other. As time went on and I slowly became more comfortable staying at his house too much, I had to figure out a way I could get some alone time. It wasn't that I was unhappy, it was just my need for space to myself and time to think to myself. We had to neutralize the situation because we would get annoyed with each other in times of wanting our own space for a certain amount of time.
(photo taken at home featuring my cat)
Novelty-Predictability is the idea that we desire predictability as well as spontaneity in our relationships. This dialectic reminds me of my best friend i've had since kindergarten. She is one of those persons' that always wants to go right out and do things without questioning. I like that about her because I have usually just one to go with the flow, and "do the right thing". She brings out my inner fun because my life is, for the most part, a routine. Every Monday (or) since we both have the day off, we like to get together and do something either adventurous or visit places we've been and do different things. For example, we like to find new parks to go to, restaurants, and crafts to get into. To make things a little more fun we even dress up super cute to go to small restaurants just for the fun of it.
Openness-Closedness is the desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal every thing about yourself to someone. This dialectic really relates to me through my relationships at my job. I love my job at Sephora and the women I work with. However, we keep a lot of personal information to ourselves. It's not like we are trying to hide things it's just the way we are. We all drop majority of our problems, stresses, and drama as we walk into those work doors. Of course we are always there for each other in times of need, for example, when my uncle was in the hospital my coworker said she could tell something was wrong and asked to know more. We know each other enough to know if we need help or if something is bothering one another and I really appreciate that in a work setting. We may be pretty disclosed in our personal lives because we don't have much time to talk working on the sales floor, however, the small chances we do get we share enough information to get to know each other and become trustworthy friends.(Photo taken of majority of the Sephora team at one of our cast meeting/seminar)
I wrote about relational dialects as well and I like that you brought in examples of each need as it relates to various relationships like your boyfriend, friend, and co workers. I especially can relate to how its so important to have your alone time in your relationship because there are things you need to take care of at home! I am always the one that travels to my boyfriends house because its his own place vs me staying with my mom and her boyfriend. But because I'm the only one that has to travel back and forth, he doesn't understand how stressful it is to think about all the things you have to take care of at home, or how you'll have to throw away some of the groceries you bought for the week.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about relational dialectics theory constantly play in interpersonal relationships. There are specific moments in our life's that we need someone to listen and care about us and to be with us. Some other time we need our personal space. We have to learn how to manege our time in our relationship with others.
ReplyDeleteAlso I agree with Openness-Closedness we don't have to share all with our co-worker, family or close friends, it doesn't mean he are hiding something, it mean privacy.