Tavia Hunt CTP Blog #2

The Conflict theory is a duel theory with two distinct sides that share the same DNA if the theory was a zodiac sign it would be Gemini (which happens to be my own). The two sides of the theory are complete opposites which are destructive and productive. A conflict is only destructive when no one wants to work things out and either one side wants their way despite being right or wrong or both sides want their way despite being right or wrong. This causes major destruction because selfishness is involved and the willingness to do what is right and beneficial to everyone or the situation is abandoned. A conflict is productive when people are actively finding a solution to the problem keeping in mind what’s best for everyone in the situation even if someone loses out it was for the best.  

In this situation we will see how these key elements come into play in a destructive conflict. Joe wanted Mary to clean out the spare bedroom because his parents were coming to town to stay for a week. Mary right off the bat did not want his parents to stay with them and explained to Joe it was because they were condescending more so towards her and all around made her feel uncomfortable in her own home. Joe didn’t see their sly remarks and judgment towards her that big of a deal mainly because he did that sort of thing towards her also. Mary was run down because she had been working overtime at her job and had a lot of projects to do the week they were coming. “Can’t they come some other time?” she said. “You just don’t want to do work!” Joe said which was further from the truth. Mary angrily asked him why he didn’t do it especially since he was home all day and could have gotten it done. He told her that he was waiting for her to come home and to tell her about his parents coming. Mary was so angry that she was shaking. Mary mentioned to him that he should have been the one to clean out that room especially since he allowed their parent to bring their pet into their home and allowed it to run around in that room knowing she was allergic. Joe didn’t have anything to say so he just shrugged his shoulders quite trying to think of something else to say. “Well?” Mary exclaimed! Joe put on his shoes and left the house for eight hours when he came back home he sat down on the couch and asked her if she cleaned the room. Mary was flabbergasted because Joe didn’t hear a word she said. They fought some more with Joe making threats and name calling until Mary finally caved in and cleaned the room. This resulted in Mary having an asthma attack and hives all over her body and no thanks from Joe.

As stated in Chapter 9 in Survey of Communication Study many of our beliefs and attitudes are not always well grounded and lead to destructive behaviors. Joe belief that women (Mary) should always do the cleaning was not well-grounded and unfair which led to his destructive behavior of name calling, threats and selective hearing. These elements physically and emotionally hurt Mary who ended up more drained which likely negatively affected her job and had painful hives all over her body.

 In this situation we will see how these key elements play into a productive conflict. Tom and Betty are on a ski trip and they are skiing on a trail that they have never been on before. They ended up getting lost not know which way they should go next and there were no visible signs around to direct them. Tom suggest that they keep going in the direction they were going but Betty thinks they should make a left to head back to the ski resort. Tom thinks going Betty’s way will lead to a dead end and Betty said she looked at a map earlier and thinks going left will get them back to the ski resort. They argue back in forth giving each other reasons why their way is better until Betty remembers that she downloaded the Ski Resorts app. She pulls out her phone and uses the app’s locator and saw on the map they were in fact heading towards a dead end and that going right was actually going to get them back to the ski resort. They both apologized and kissed. In this situation both parties had the same goal which was to get back to the ski resort and both parties listened to the one another reason as to why they were right. Also, both parties didn’t object to getting outside help (from the app) because it aided in their shared goal and even made up with a kiss. Their conflict was productive because it got both parties where they wanted to be and both were happy in the end. 

Here is the link to my picture since the computer doesn't want to cooperate. If the computer was a person this situation would be considered a destructive conflict. HaHa!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKPkX-ejMy8/?taken-by=infinitely_tay